Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
