belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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