even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
