then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
