Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
