Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize