I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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