Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
