WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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