so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
