The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
