My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize