It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
