So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
