Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
