he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
