Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
