I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
