Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
