I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
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