I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
