if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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