I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize