my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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