Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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