Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
