Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
