I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
