All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
