just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
