all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
