i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
