last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize