Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
