I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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