Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
