i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
