he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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