How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I fill condoms, not promises.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
