Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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