i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize