you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
