He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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