And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
