You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
