I am in a vortex of obligation.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
