I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
