you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
