im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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