she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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