i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
