So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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