yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
