My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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