i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
