it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
