Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
