My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I am available for nakedness
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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