Only a mothe r could love this liver
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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